No way!? Another day trip with Yaz? Yup!

Tbh the highlight of the trip was the cafe Fringe +Ginge where we got a matcha and I got a cardamon and pistachio bun that I didn’t shut up about the whole day (much to Yaz’s irritation). Sorry god forbid I enjoy myself???? Canterbury was really pretty though. The river was so picturesque. Dare I say its the Venice of England? No, I don’t dare.

We also had Mexican food there which was… a choice we made on purpose…. and it was definitely something we ate!

It was that time of the year. The Jews refrain from eating so they can think about all their sins. And it’s… kinda genius because when I’m hungry I can’t focus on a damn thing so all you can do is just think.

I don’t, however, think I was meant to just watch TV the whole day (or at all) but I’m not a perfect Jew okay? I still fasted though so there.

Honestly, I think about my sins often enough and I don’t need to not eat to be embarrassed of my behaviour. And I would have to starve myself for weeks if I wanted to repent for all of them.

I ordered Indian food to Break Fast but it SPILLED in the bag and it felt like a hate crime and I cried.

Lord knows I am an oversharer.

Yet when things go wrong, I become a little secret shy mysterious girl. Secretly crying in the bathroom and acting like a forlorn emo tween who responds to questions like “How are you?” with moody answers like “It doesn’t matter”. It’s very difficult for me to actually tell people the “bad things” I have gone or will go through. I have no problem telling strangers about my date my Italian waiter but you want me to tell a close friend about a real issue in my life? You’re crazy girl.

This month my childhood dog, Sherlock got sick. He was in the hospital for over a week and he’s back home but he’s’ not better and I don’t think he will ever get back to better. I was unprepared for just how hard this would be for me. I lost my appetite and was checking my phone every 5 minutes for updates. I cried viscerally in a way that I hadn't in two years. It was snotty and wet and raw and gross.

I didn’t know if I was crying from sadness or fear but I think a big part of me was crying from anger. I was (am) angry that bad things happen. Ya hear that guys? Breaking news! Never been heard before!!! Bad things happen. Sometimes you are 3000 miles away from your family when a vet says that they don’t know if your dog will get through the next few days. The gag is all these bad things, death, sickness, disaster and rejection, are often out of your control and are (you guessed it) a part of life.

I have been privileged in my life in an astounding amount of ways. I never had to experience death in a close way. I was 9 when my grandfather passed and I was definitely sad, especially seeing the aftermath and the toll it had on my family but I was too young to understand that type of grief.

It’s not like I haven’t experienced some of these infamous “bad things”… but death? It’s something I am not intimate with and don’t super want to be.

I was 10 when I got Sherlock. I BEGGED for him. Making power points and holding family meetings. Going to every dog adoption event and scouring the pet rescue website until I fell in love with a little South Carolinian mutt with short legs and big paws. (He is a full New York Jew now). I can’t take credit for the name though, that was all Devon. I trained him to open doors and roll over. We even had a secret handshake. He’s part of our family and I think we are all convinced he’s a genius. He was a comfort during dysfunction and hardships. He was a companion with unconditional love for his family.

I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the reality of his state. But as hard as I try, there is literally nothing I can do. Sometimes bad things happen and there is zero you can do to stop it no matter how much foresight you have. I don’t like it one single bit.

As if this October couldn’t get any scarier?? It was Halloween!

This year I dressed as the one and only Paddington Bear but I made him hot obvi.

Paddington 2 is one of the best pieces of cinema to ever grace this earth. I know British people are obsessed with him but no one really get him like I do.

I was glad I got to celebrate with lovely and dear friends ❤️ and my NEW flatmates!!! (hard launch alert) Aisling and Katie!! Yay!

I made my famous cheese dip, brownies and a blood red 🩸 punch.I also made snickerdoodles, which don’t exist in the UK so I got mixed reactions when I asked my guests to “try my snickerdoodles”.

I also got paid to celebrate Halloween! Halloween fell on a Thursday this year which is also CPT’s pub quiz night!!! Lots of questions about horror movies and an entire section dedicated to discerning if quotes were said by Jesus Christ or Kanye Wes..aptly titles “Jesus or Yeezus?”

There was pumpkin carving which was fun for everyone until we had to clean up every little pumpkin scrap.

Drew Kerr face timed me so there is evidence of my costume which consisted. of a Viking hat.

A customer asked if I was dressed as this man:

So I can’t say I was flattered.

So I transitioned into wearing an Abe Lincoln top hat 🫡 

Katie also had a 40inch wig which I think everyone should know

I think I’m ready to be a housewife or at least am ready to be a nepo baby or sleep my way to the top because job hunting IS EXHAUSTING. Just KIDDING. But not really.

I am adding this to this month’s newsletter because it has probably taken up most of my time this month. I have written so many cover letters this month along with my trusted friend ChatGPT and also Maura. God lord if you are listening I NEED A SALARY PLEASE. LET ME BE IN YOUR CAPITALISTIC SYSTEM.

Some of you know that I have a goal to visit every Royal Park in London so Maura and I went to Richmond Park and saw deer. Okay hot take? Deers are scary. Those antlers look sharp.

Richmond was so autumnal and gorgeous. I really want to find a rich British husband so he can impregnate me and we can raise our children in Richmond and send them to posh schools. I know it’s posh because I found a Hermes button the in the park, kind of iconically