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A Weird Newsletter for a Weird Month

A Weird Newsletter for a Weird Month

This month felt like a year.

Mollie Kerr
February 01, 2025

✨ January ✨

If you read this whole edition I appreciate you.

This is also my one year anniversary of having a newsletter. So that’s something.

🎀 Mollie’s Monthly Memories🎀

When You Lose Your Childhood Dog

When you lose your childhood dog it will be over Facetime. You will be 3000 miles away and you will be on a group call with your brother in California, yourself, and your parents at the animal hospital. He got sick a few months ago so you knew this was coming. You cried so hard when you thought he was going to die before you got to say goodbye. You will get to go home and you will say goodbye. You will know you probably won’t see him again. You are right.

You will watch your family feed him Hershey's chocolate kisses because the vet office says “no dog should go to heaven without trying chocolate”. You will wonder if the vet office knows that Jews don't believe in heaven. Your brother will admit to the family that the dog ate weed brownies years ago and he was totally fine. You will watch your parents cry . You will know this is hurting them just as much as it hurts you. You know that eight years ago when you moved out it was your mom who was with the dog day in, day out, and it was her who hand fed him when he got sick. Your heart will hurt for her. You will not believe that a few hours ago you were upset some guy ghosted you, but now that feels so so so stupid and far away. You will hang up the phone and you will be back in your room in London and nothing is different. You realize you too feel far away.

You will reach out to your friends because that’s what you should do right? Your friends will call and facetime and say kind words and let you cry. They will fill your heart with love and you realize you're happy. Obviously, the occasion is sad but you are happy to be so loved. Your friend will book you flight to Luxembourg. You will quickly pack your bags and two days later you will be on a flight. You will spend the week wandering the very small country, watching Girls, and gossiping. And it will snow and the snow will stick, and you are grateful.

You will regain a routine. You will try not to lose your mind while babysitting but quickly find yourself exasperatingly yelling that you “don't care if they brush their teeth just go to bed”. You will do things you genuinely enjoy, you go to workout classes, paint and see your friends. You will try to be an adult. Your parents will send you a picture of the box that your dog’s ashes are in. You will ask yourself how one day a living thing can be physically with you and the next day in an urn. Your brother will be evacuated because of the L.A wildfires. You will try not to think about the concept of death. You fail. You read books about people losing loved ones, and you will cry on the train.

You will continue to have job interviews throughout all of this. You will wonder if good things will ever happen to you. You will look at the state of the world, fascism taking over, a genocide in the middle east and California on fire and you will know that good things really are not happening at all. You thought this year would be better and you will wonder if this is foreshadowing how the rest of 2025 will go for you. But by the end of the month things will start to turn around.

Your therapist will urge you not to conflate the death of your childhood dog as some larger symbolic death of your childhood. You suppose that that death probably happened long ago. And as much as you hate it, you know that your dog dying is just one of the deaths you will have to experience in your life. And as much as you don’t want it to, life will still go on.

Thanks for 15 years of unconditional love xx

🎀 Mollie’s Monthly Memories (But for real this time) 🎀

Luxembourg

As discussed above! I went to Luxembourg. Random right? Wrong! That’s where Maura lives and I would go to the bottom of a well if that’s where she is. I would follow that girl anywhere!

But before we get to the trip itself it is time to share the traumatic trip there…

THE AIRPLANE STORY:

Picture this. I am on a Ryan Air flight. Flying out of Stansted. And my dog just died. So I am already feeling… bad. I am planning to read Devon’s script on the flight so I take my iPad out of my bag and put everything else in the overhead compartment.

I am in the middle sear of an exit row. There is a man (not cute) to my left (aisle) and a woman to my right (window). Across from the woman was where the flight attendant is sitting. So essentially the flight attendant and woman are accross from each other.

The flight is a little over an hour. What could go wrong? A lot.

My iPad? Dead. So because I can fall asleep anywhere. I knock tf out. I wake up and I hear that we are landing in 5 minutes. Awesome. Seat belt sign on.

We start heading down. Uh oh. Its getting bumpy. Uh oh its getting REALLY bumpy. We go back up.

Okay we are going to try again to land. We start going down again. We are shakingggg. Like it is reallyyy bad turbulence.

Suddenly I hear the flight attendant and woman talking.

“You’re going to throw up?” says the flight attendant

“Yes” says the woman “I need a bag.”

“I dont have a bag” says the flight attendant. Bitch huh????

They look at me!!!

“I dont have a bag” I tell them because WHY WOULD I??? and if I did WHY WOULD I LET A STRANGER BARF IN IT?

“Okay” flight attendant goes “throw up next to you, like in the space between your seat and the window”

HUH???

We are still going through severe turbulence after trying a second time and we are back up. And Ms.Lady next to me starts wretching.

Im like Is this it? Is this the end???

I fully turn myself into the man next to me like I was essentially burying my face into his chest. Would have been a great meet cute if he was cute. I apologize for invading his space and he tells me its going to be okay. My hero<3

The captain says “Everything is normal” Ummm. Don’t think thats true buddy. “We are going to try again” he says.

Now at this point. I don’t feel too great. I am being shaken around and I have a woman vomiting next to me onto the floor. I am 80% sure that I may vomit. I do not. Thank the lord above. Because fr where would I vomit? Also on the floor??

We are finally on our descent that seems to be sticking. We land. People clap and for the first time I respect it. We are clapping like our lives were in danger… and they really felt like they were.

This is when I find out another person a few rows up has also vomited. I am literally in a medal prison of vomit. And if you’re wondering, yeah it did smell.

I (obviously) start throwing a fit “ I need to get OFF this plane” -me

Finally FINALLY. I get off and spend 5 minutes washing my hands in the bathroom.

THE END

So that was the start to the trip that was meant to help my mental health.

After that traumatic incident the rest of the vacation was great.

Maura and I sat by the fire and drank tea. We read our books and took walks.

She showed me around historical Lux, which really did resemble a children’s book fairytale setting.

For my NY friends Luxembourg has approximately the population of the combined Upper West and East Side. Like its such a tiny baby.

We went to see We Live In Time with Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield (smash). I cried because I am also a tiny baby. There was also a lot of butts which I enjoyed and I loved Mr.Garfield’s slutty little glasses and notebook.

Did you know that in some of these European movie Theatres they have a full ass candy bar? And also like..a gift shop?

We went to the Luxembourg national library. We made brownies. We ate good food. And we also went to a chinese returant that had sushi with potato chips on top. Don’t super get the culture there tbh.

Overall, it was a really nice trip.

I was in a very upsetting mental space and I feel lucky to be taken in by Maura and her family like the lost lamb I am.

Living across the ocean from your family is really difficult during times like these. So my friends are my family here. I am very happy Maura is apart of that family.

Spending Time Alone (not in a sad way)

January is such a weird month. It always feels longer than every other month.

I ended up spending a lot of time alone this month. Which isn’t a bad thing. I am trying to accomplish my new years resolutions of taking workout classes, and going to more events around London. So here we go

All hail Class Pass 🙏 . I did so much barre and yoga and reformer AND got back into boxing. Watch out cuz im about to be strong as hell.

I dont know what Im doing with my face

Connecting to nature during the 14 hour Tik Tok Ban

I took a life drawing class! I spent two full hours looking at an old mans penis, butthole and balls… and the rest of him I guess. He was very ambitious in his posing as seen by my drawing of him on all fours below.

I read 5 books!! Dyslexia who???

I am addicted to sitting in my bed and watching tv.

🎶 “Romanticize a quit life There’s no place like my room” 🎶

Eating meals alone is cool.

Finally Tried Phat Phuc 🤌 😘

Spending Time with Friends

Don’t worry! I spent time with other humans this month too.

Susana Back In Town

Michigan couldn’t keep her forever!! Susí returned finally and we did many fun things!

We went to an Irish bar and I ACCIDENTALLY (!!!) licked a man’s face. By ACCIDENT. I was tried to say my name in his ear and saying moLLie slowly required use my tongue to say the L part. It was a horribly uncomfortable accident and I immediately said “i’m sorry for kissing you” (??) Something is not right with me.

We also fell in love with any man who had an Irish accent.

(Yaz was there but non pictured) srry still love you Yaz

We spent about an hour in TK maxx looking for bags. We did not find any. We did however go to Japan House to see their new exhibit on fake food!! What a (non edible) treat!

We ate post-going-out-bagels.

This was taken after I peed behind a dumpster<3

The Staff Party

Okay I mainly made this its own section because I wanted to share these photos with the (pub)lic. I know a lot of my pub friends are reading this so please know this is all with love.

Clissold Park Tavern had our holiday party on a Monday in the end of January because duh. Ever go to a frat party with a range of 18 year old girls to 60 year old men? Well that was this.

We started out eating dinner at a curry house.

Nothing like eating curry to coat your stomach for a lot of beer.

Here is where I took my new fav pic of Betty, featuring Patrick.

My laughing queen

Afterwards, we ubered up to the Pub to partay. The set up really reminded me of an Ultimate Frisbee party in college. Like just the vibe.

I mean!

Some of us had a bingo card going ya know like: “ Someone gets into a fight”, “Something breaks”, “Someone passes out”, “Someone shags in the bathroom”.

It took maybe 90 minutes for all those things to happen.

Bongo came to party

There was also karaoke. And thank GOD Liz and I were there. I don’t know what yall would have done with out us.

If you ever want to silence a crowd of pub folk sing “Loathing” from Wicked The Musical. Absolutely smashed it.

Galinda Elphaba vibes

It was a great way to say goodbye…

We Saw Baby Girl

Yup!

Katie and I saw Babygirl.

Nicole Kidman really can play any role and she really can not stop wearing wigs. Ever wonder if that’s her kink??? Wigs.

We ate an ungodly amount of sweets watching Harris Dickinson have no social skills and playing hard to get while Nicole was having a horny anxiety attack.

When this happened: