Viaggio delle donne!! (this was the rough Google translation for the girl’s trip)

Maura, Emily, Myra, and I packed up, left rainy London, and headed to the rocky beaches of Taormina, Italy!

We spent our first morning in Catania, where we saw many very alive fish being very killed at the local fish market. Then, we took the train to Taormina, which, fun fact, is where White Lotus season 2 was filmed!!

We made it to our Airbnb with a beautiful view and a one-eyed cat.

We did have to pay a tourism tax, which apparently goes to the mafia to keep us safe (?). Well, the first thing they need to do is castrate all creepy Italian men.

I definitely understand why people (Devon) fall in love with the country and why people (Devon) never seem to shut up about it. The architecture is beautiful, and truly, every street feels like it was plucked out of a postcard. The people are overall incredibly friendly and didn’t mind when I butchered their language. Everything has an air of antiquity and relaxation.

Unfortunately, I did not get an Italian boyfriend, but there are plenty of Italians in London, so…. there is still a chance!!

We went to the same gelato place three times, drank a steady stream of Aperol spritz, and had pistachio in every form imaginable. We ate something called granita, which is some type of frozen ice cream sorbet, and a brioche bun, which wasn't as awful as I thought.

We spent one day at the beach. To get there, we took a cable car from the top of the mountain, where the city was, to the bottom, where the beach was.

We brought paninis from a local sandwich shop, and they were FANTASTIC. I could eat cured meat, mozzarella, and olive oil every day.

At the beach, the weather was the perfect amount of warm, but the ocean was insanely cold. Yet, Maura and Emily braced the frozen water, and for that, I respect them.

Our more tourist-y activity included seeing the Roman ruins of an amphitheater, which was really special. We had a great view of Miss. Etna, aka Mount Etna, aka the active volcano on Sicily. She was a beauty. (yall ever see the movie fire of love?)

The FOOOOOD!!! Delectable!! My favorites included pistachio pesto with guanciale and then an olive oil chili sauce dish with homemade spaghetti with fried garlic bread crumbs on top. AND OF COURSE, I could never forget the amazing homemade pasta dish Maura made us ❤️. She made lemon tomato pasta which we ate on our balcony in our pajamas. It was such a special moment with my girlies.

We went out drinking one night, and I regularly broke out into Tinashe’s new song (anyone gonna match my freak). Guys, limoncello is actually a deadly drink. Sorry, I know it is also delicious (supposedly), but it is also so painful that I felt like I was burning my esophagus off (but more on my esophagus later……).

There were lots of old Italian men serenading. There was also one old man who looked like Steve Buscemi from Spy Kids 2 just touched an electric rod and also spent 400 years underground. He was DANCING. I have video evidence obvi, but I do not know how to attach a video here.

Exam season was upon us, and my hair was falling out. I swear to God, I was dreaming about UN charter treaties.

This was my last exam season (of my life, I hope), and it was a doozy. After not having to study for an exam in like 4 years, my brain was really put to the test.

I had two exams. One for my Approaches to Human Rights class and the other for my Anthropology of Development. After convincing the professors to let us take an open book exam (academic representatives at your service 🫡 ), I spent day and night making a 70-page-professionally-bound-study-guide that I had to make a literal table of contents for. As shown below.

The essay itself consisted of writing three essays in three hours. England is very dramatic. Everyone gets a special seat number and candidate number, and you can’t talk before the exam, can’t have a water bottle with a label on it, and can’t wear a sweatshirt on your chair. It is so serious. I didn’t have a sip of water or breathe the entire time it was GO GO GO. In conclusion, I felt like it went…. fine? It felt like I studied for questions that weren’t asked, but nonetheless, I think I handled the questions that were asked as best as I could.

Below is a picture of some of the class drinking away the memory of the exam. I unfortunately couldn’t stay long because I had anothr exam the NEXT DAY!!

The next day, I had to suffer through an EIGHT (8!!) hour exam. Yes, it was take-home so you would think maybe it would be easy… WRONG… YOU try writing 4,000 logical and cohesive words in 8 hours.

I did not move from my desk, and I did not put anything in my body other than energy drinks for all eight hours. It was kind of a nightmare. I survived it, and hopefully, a few hundred of those words were good enough to get me a good grade.

I'm still waiting for my hair to stop falling out, though….

Let me paint you a picture.

Its a graphic one so read at your own risk.

Nivi you will be fine.

It’s 4 am and I wake up. My body is in pain, which I assume is from killing it during leg day the night before 💪 🏋️‍♀️. I am out here putting muscle relaxation cream on like that will help.

Suddley, I think, “Maybe this is not my ass getting better but something more sinister.”

That is when I threw up for the first time in almost 3 years.

It is…. traumatizing. Thank god for time differences because I get to call my mom and cry about it. I am not able to talk for long because, BAM, I’m throwing up again… but this time… there is blood.

I said it was going to be graphic, okay? I keep it open and honest with my readers.

I call Val and say…. maybe I need to go to the hospital?

knock knock knock, that is the sound of me waking Capella up and telling her that we gotta go.

Bless her heart.

I call the 911 equivalent… 999. I tell them I am throwing up blood. They say “okay drama queen, an ambulance will be there in 25 (????) minutes”.

At this point, I feel like I am on my deathbed. Capella is packing my hospital bag (appropriately, its my Oy Vey bag)

999 calls back (?) Guess they can do that. They say something along the lines of like “heyyyy we can’t spare an ambulance right now but we think you are okay enough to take a cab so we ordered you one xx”

NHS bffr.

I get my shaking body with a garbage bag into the FUCKING cab. Capella comes with me like the saint she is.

I make my way to the hospital, where I plant myself lying firmly on the floor of the waiting room. It was the most uncomfortable I have ever felt. My body felt like it was trying to escape itself. They do a blood test, and they are trying to inject anti-nausea into me but BAM, now I am throwing up all up in the nurse’s faces. I actually think it is probably what an exorcism feels like. I was convulsing like a demon that was trapped inside me for 3000 years and was trying to escape.

The doctor comes in and is pretty much like, “You are sick :( and since you had nothing in your stomach, you were kind of scratching your insides. Please leave now.” They rehydrated me and wished me good luck.

I spent the next few days surviving off of crackers and Perfect Match. (Harry Jowsey can catch these hands)

SUSANA is the other loser in this because she had to go to the horse race alone that day:( I had my rich person outfit all picked out, too. I owe you chica!! Next year, I guess😭 

Well, Well, Well…. My frontal lobe has finally developed. You heard it here first, people… I have no more issues and will never make another mistake again 🙂 “Hello (insert name of one of my doctors), you are no longer needed.”

JK! Nothing has changed except I can now rent a car in America.

I woke up on my birthday to TWO flower deliveries. One from my mama and the other from Maura and Emily! Best way to wake up! 🙂 

My dad iconically called me at 5:30 am his time. Bless him.

I went to Kossofs and had my biggest meal since vomitgate. It was tough, but I powered through for the yummy food. I then went to Oxford Street and spent money.

THEN I got to see Next to Normal, which, for those of you who have known me in my peak musical theatre era, know that it's my favorite musical. The music, the story—UGH, IT’S SO GOOD.

Boy, oh boy, I cried like a damn baby. A lot of the songs really resonated with me during harder times in my life. It was so special being able to see it years after being a 17-year-old (with a very undeveloped frontal lobe) telling my therapist to listen to it.

Found my way back to my house when Susana and Nava helped me pick my outfit.

We packed up everything a picnic needs and headed to Primrose Hill.

My amazing friends joined me for eating, drinking, and playing Never Have I Ever.

Unfotunley, I was still sick and couldn’t indulge myself too much. (There will be a makeup night where I get to be shit-faced)

Rory Coleman, the absolute MVP, made the cake of my dreams. I still was too sick to eat it, but BOY, oh boy, did I love to look at it and see other people eating it. Everyone should have a friend like her.

We took a walk to The Hawley Arms, which is rumored to be the pub that Baby Reineer is based on (red flag or green flag?).

I really want to give a genuine and heartfelt thank you

Liz, Georgie, Sofia, Susana, Rory, Isis, Theo, Vanessa, Yaz, Cate, and Eden, for taking time out of their day to celebrate Valerie pushing me out 25 years ago

And thank you to everyone else across the globe who sent me your bday wishes<3 you make me happy

I want to add a very special thanks to Nava Razavi. Nava visited me the week of my birthday, and I feel so lucky to have someone who would fly 13 hours just to sleep in my living room and watch lots of Naked Attraction. She makes me cackle and will answer any dumb question I have with complete earnestness. Love you girly.