Back in London from my month in NYC and clearly London was mad at me because the weather was dreadful

Bakc in London means back The Pub. I even went on a date with a customer!! He asked me out during Karaoke night (the most upsetting night to work in a bar) but I couldn’t stand his laugh so he is not the future Mr.Kerr (more on dating later).

I was even working Karaoke night this month which was …… You ever wanna see one man sing both parts of a a High School Musical duet…. boy do i have the place for you.

Maura and I saw “Waiting for Godot” And we were in the front row (surprisingly the cheapest tix in the house!). That means I got an up close and personal experience of Paddington’s (Ben Whishaw) feet and tushy. If we remember I did in fact dress up as Paddington for Halloween so it was a beautiful full-circle moment.

The actor who played Lucky made the character choice to salivate throughout the whole show. And I so genuinely mean this man was drooling nonstop. There were puddles. It was at this point we did regret being so close.

I attended book club where I in fact did not like the book but imagine my surprise when everyone else said they love it. Maybe the issue was that I listened to the book, “The Bear and the Nightingale” by Katherine Arden, as an audiobook and simply could not keep track of everyone’s Russian names. Sorry!!!! I think somewhere in my DNA I am russian so that makes up for it.

Everyone (except Devon but its okay) flew across the Atlantic to see little old me!!

First stop for my mom and Mark? You guess it! The Pub!

Worlds collided!

I’ve never seen Mark as excited about anything as he was about seeing the keg room in a pub, a room I usually avoid.

Mark and Val met some friends, ate our world-famous pizza and watched me pull a pint of beer.

I wanted Val to try a baby Guinness and as you can see….

She didn’t really live up to the challenge. That’s right, she sipped the shot. Nonetheless, she got wasted on rosé like the Val we know and love. She passed tf out in the Uber home. Rock on girl.

Drew and I got a hot pot for the first time! It was honestly super cool. It reminded me of The Melting Pot in NY (deep cut), We dunked mushrooms, instant noodles and raw meat in boiling soup. I will say the raw meat of it all did make me anxious so if that’s not your bag then I wouldn’t recommend.

He and I also saw The Tempest with Sigourney Weaver and it wasn’t good, Ms. Weaver did not really know her lines and Caliban looked like a human mole, I was also having a breakdown (see mollies mind)

Hello, being the poshest bitch in London called and Val and I picked up.

We went to high tea at The Goring Hotel. It was very fancy. I absolutely eviscerated the finger sandwiches like vacuumed them into my gullet. You know the place was boujie because the bathroom at little hand towels instead of a hand dryer. Val and I drank champagne, gossiped and ate sconces. We enjoyed ourselves very much.

Drew and I went to the Tim Burton exhibit at the Design Museum but I was too occupied with this Barbie photobooth in the basement.

It was a busy busy week but I am grateful for the time I got to spend with my family.

Well, it is finally over. The reason I even moved to this country (besides having a bit of a menty b in NYC) has come to a close.

The week’s celebrations commenced at Fallow for brunch with the girls. We sat there catching up for so long that we were being nudged to leave. The four of us together is non-stop yapping.

Graduation day was hectic.

Had breakfast with my girls at Toklas bakery to eat some cinnamon buns and then we had to pick up the graduation gown, the hat and the degree certificate, check our bags and run to the Peacock Theatre. And we did all of it in the windy cold. Why they can’t make all this easier for us? Well guess our tuition only paid for the cardboard tube we all got handed on stage.

The graduation itself was… fine. The speakers could not pronounce any non-Anglo-Saxon name.

When I graduated college I remember getting emotional walking across the stage so I wasn’t surprised when I got a bit teary eyes on stage and that wasn’t just because I had to shake Larry Kramer’s hand.

What actually made the graduation significant, and the rest of the year for that matter, was the incredible advocacy and protesting by my peers. Pursuing a human rights degree while witnessing a genocide unfold—and doing so at an institution complicit in it—was…complex.

It made the degree feel even more real and pertinent than ever but we got to apply what we’ve learned in real time in a real way. I talk a bit about that in the video at the end of this section!

At graduation, there were incredible acts of protest, both small and large. I wore a beautiful watermelon pin made by Isis. Maura, Emily, and Myra wore keffiyehs, while other students did banner drops as they walked across the stage. At the end of the ceremony, we all came together to chant for a Free Palestine 🙂 🙂 

After graduation, I made my mother and father get me a matcha and then watch me drop over 30 pounds in a photo booth.

The three of us then met Mark at… Fallow. Yup, I went to Fallow twice in one week. Yeah, rich bitch indeed. It was SO. GOOD. I ate a juicy ass piece of steak and the best cabbage of my life. Of. My. Life. I also got a fancy bitch martini. See below.

In conclusion, graduation was nice! It was lovely to reconnect with so many people I hadn’t seen since June, meet everyone’s loved ones, and introduce them to mine!

I can’t believe I am a friggin Masters degree holder!! I have come a very long way from getting D’s on my report card. Now the only D I get is …. kidding. IM KIDDING MOM.

Spending Christmas alone is arguably sad. You tell anyone that you don't have Christmas plans and people look at you like you are America Ferrera trying on clothes in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

plus of course… I am Jewish. But still, I spent Christmas alone. I never realized that in London everything shuts down and I mean everything. All transport, bus, train, tube, everything.

Katie and Aisling left for the week to be with their families so I was really alone for the whole week. And I was… mostly okay.

I took some Barre classes, did arts and craft, made wings with buffalo sauce I brought back from America, and watched reality TV and Cast Away with Tom Hanks which was… fine? (Like I was hoping for a more Nim’s Island vibe (deep cut))

On Christmas day itself, I attempted to make blue cookies in honor of the first day of Hannukah. They turned out more like a corpse like grey. Fitting for the day. I didn’t want to be alone alone so I took an Uber to The Pub. I shared some cookies with my Uber driver and chatted about his Christmas plans.

Nivi called me on my way which truly made me so happy even though we didn’t talk for long.

At The Pub… now I know some of my colleagues are reading this… but the vibes were not great.

Maybe it was just me. I guess I didn’t realize that the day was going to be hard alone. I have spent Hannukah away a few times in my life, being at college or whatever but I always had people around but it was different now.

After reading a bit I couldn’t really take being at The Pub any longer so I went on a long walk.

I walked along the canal and in the Stoke Newington parks. While I was walking, I looked in people’s windows. and it almost felt like the saddest Christmas movie. There I was, standing outside in the cold and inside, in the warmth, were families, friends and lovers all together around the table. Candles lit and paper crowns on. And it was beautiful and it was sad.

When I got home I made some food and fixed my drawers. Productive I suppose.

Living in a new country, away from your family is hard. Being in that country without your friends on a holiday is harder.

You heard that right! I currently help look after 3 little British kids in Waterloo: Alice and Rose, twins, 7 and Benjamin, 9.

I love children. Sometimes I think maybe being around so many kids when I’m this age will put me off wanting kids in the future but just like living on a farm where pigs were being killed didn’t make me vegetarian, I still want kids.

One little girl Alice, reminds me of me in a lot of ways because she’s a dyslexic kid who talks to herself and likes to go against the grain as seen by her applying makeup to my forehead.

She feels insecure because her sister is much more academically bright…(sound familiar @devon?)

She’s a little freak and I appreciate it.

The others, Rose and Benjamin are also very cute.

I spent about 1 hour trying to fix Benjamin’s VR headset one day and I can honestly say I am scared of the future.

They also have two ADORABLE 2-month-old kittens. And bless em because the girls treat those kitties like dolls. Literally. They regularly put doll clothes on them.

Many centuries ago ancient witches stood around a cauldron and put a curse on me.

My New Year’s curse. Infamous.

I have had some of the worst fights with my ex-boyfriends and friends on New Years. I have felt my worst on New Years. One year someone I knew LITERALLY died.

So to say I am cautious is an understatement.

I have found, in my many years bearing this curse that the best thing to do is… not much. Don't make big plans, don’t buy a new outfit, don't expect anything good.

I was almost convinced I would also spend New Years alone this year which wouldn’t have been awful but Thank G for Katie who also wanted to keep it low key.

She and I went pub hopping around our neighbourhood and it was fun (!!). We even decided to bring grapes to do the whole 12 grapes under the table at midnight thing.

We were somehow the only people at this pub and at midnight got our asses on the ground and took out the grapes from Katie’s purse and shoved those things in. I did in fact accidentally step on some grapes but I’ll be damned if I do not complete a tradition. We poured some beer on those bitches and I ate them.

After spooking all the pub workers from under the table, we left and walked towards the very cool fireworks…and I was like woah and I having a good new years rn?

We got home, I was drunk, I ordered Mcdonalds and we found a construction hat.

And this was how the night concluded