Possibly my favorite part about coming back to New York??

On the list of things England Can't Do it goes….

1. Not colonize

2. Mexican food

3. Pizza

4. Men with good haircuts 

So I ate all my favorites when I was back stateside

Tacos

Burritos

Pizza Pizza Pizza

Buffalo Wings to which I always use at least 17 napkins

Sushi (London has sushi im just poor) 

I guess the other good part about coming home is seeing these weird freaks who happened to share part of my DNA. 

Sherlock, who DOES share my DNA, stuck it out and he and I got to hang out. He’s a sick boy now and it was very hard to watch him struggle. He can’t walk upstairs without help and doesn't want to go on walks anymore. He has become a bit of a food snob on what he will and will not eat but thank god my mother, who would lay her life down for this dog is cooking him steak and salmon and every other meat she thinks he may like. She’s a great mummy. 

The family and I got into all types of fun when I was home!

Val and I finally finished the show Manifest after beginning it almost 5 years ago… this may not seem newsletter-worthy but I mean it took us 5 years. Was it worth it? Thats… an interesting question. 

Val and I also went shopping for a graduation dress for me. Who would’ve thought shopping with my mom in my hometown would revert me back to 15 years old and throwing temper tantrums in dressing rooms? It was a lot of yelling at my mom for suggesting ugly dresses and crying while trying to zip up a dress. Sorry mom! 

We played board games and watched Hot Frosty, about a snowman who comes to life and is just… really fuckable I guess? But also like has the brain of a child?  And he was always cold…. It can be summed up in Devon’s Letterboxd review.  

Devon also made me go rock climbing which made me feel the same emotional battle I believe some is about to have their finger chopped off to be sent in a ransom note feels. Like I was TERRIFIED. I thought maybe there would be hot guys but only relatively not ugly-looking people came out from behind the desk and were wea open-toed shoes….. I won’t hear the defence of of Open-toed shoes man was giving me some advice and said “Don't go past the machine when you reach the top” and I said honey? You think im going to make it to the top? You flatter me open toed shoes man.

So yeah it is… not my thing (Sorry Isis I know you love it) my hands are too baby-soft for grabbing and smacking rocks and I can't be near so many feet.

My dad, Drew, got back from his big trip to Japan with many souvenirs in tow, most importantly lots and lots of Matcha.  

We had a belated birthday celebration for him! Devon made breakfast tacos, and we roamed around The Met Museum. Then we sat in a coffee shop and went through my hinge where I swiped left on men under 5’8. Finally, we saw a variety show at City Winery which was a very fun way to top the day off.

ALSO If you are wondering…. The guy who voices Gene in Bobs Burgers is Not a good stand up comedian.

Devon and I also saw Oh Mary! on Broadway which was fun (Abe Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth have sex) and we saw Wicked which I cried through.

Heres a photo taken while I was singing defying gravity to Nana.

Not only did I spend time with my family but I spent time with my friends who are also family:) 

My darling Rachel (who I’ve known for over 10 years!!) celebrated her birthday and her partner SK made a cake that looked partly like a bunny and partly an Egyptian sphinx (not pictured) !

I saw my bumble bff Katie, whom I can gab with forever and ever. We went to the Little Sweet Treat in the West Village, which I saw all over TikTok, and I spent $10 for a small bag of candy. The candy was... chewy? I'm sorry. God forbid I like the most artificial candy in the world, not marshmallow caramel premium candy from Sweden. 

And later on in the trip I got to see the art exhibit on Alvin Alley, which she worked on at the Whitney! I am proud of her every day. 

Bella and I saw a comedy show with, a friend of the Kerr’s, Michael Abber. Later she and I along with some other cute ladies went Out On The Town and by Town  I mean Le Bain.  We got drunk, we danced and we drank the alcohol of 21-year-olds who clearly have more money than me. It is always a fun night with my girl B

Ex-roommate Alexa and I also went out where we got into a heated, drunk, discussion on how American opinions on taxation when two men decided to hit on us. One worked at a bank and the other worked at Amazon and was wearing a Patagonia… to the bar. I can’t think of a worse person than me for those two to hit on. I think I do remember saying something along the lines of “I don't respect a word coming out of your mouth, Mr.Patagonia”.

She and I also got our nails done and the nail salon took an interesting (?) photo for their Instagram and used my phone as a prop. (?)

Surprise! My BFF Susana was in NYC for the weekend. I hadn’t seen her since August since she abandoned me to go to Michigan for 6 months. Lame af. But her and I got to reunite and we ate overpriced breakfast burritos, gossiped and saw the aforementioned Alvin Alley exhibit (great job Katie!!)

We walked around Chelsea Market, and there is no other person I would rather discuss X-rated topics in public with. I can't wait until she is back in London and I will superglue her to me. 

Reed and I also had a little get together while he watched me search for a book. Hi RR!

You can't possibly have MORE friends Mollie? 

Oh yes, I can.

My favorite person, Nivi and I got to spend so much time together! Lucky lucky me. We got reasonably priced sushi (rare) and watched Inside Out 2 after my therapist recommended it to me (everyone say hi Dr.King!). It really is a psychology 101 class wet dream.

 I made Nivi do arts and crafts with me and we did some air dry clay sculpting. We went on a nice long walk in some random woods AND we had a slumber party, ordered in Thai food and watched Architectural Digest videos. I love her to the moon and back and I want her to come visit again!!!!!!!!

Ho Ho Ho Merry Thanksgiving! 

 Since I won’t be coming home for the winter holidays this year we celebrated them all during Thanksgiving week. 

First up! Vision Boards. 

For about 10 years I have been making vision boards, during which I got Val and Devon into it too!

Throughout the years we’ve gotten more creative. We always start out with a pile of magazines and go through them to cut out the things that call to us. We also get to read Cosmo’s sex tips along the way. More recently I've bought stickers, rhinestones and collage cut-out books to really enhance the cuteness of the board.

Did I have a mental breakdown and start crying about losing one of the magazines and not having enough things to glue on? Yes, yes I did. Did I crash out so hard that I took the car and sat in CVS to print out motivational quotes and buy up all their magazines? Yes

Anyway, here she is…

Next up! Holiday cookies!

Every year we make holiday cookies and spend the night decorating them and listening to Christmas music. Judaism rocks!

It was my best batch of sugar cookies yet, the secret? Cinnamon and lemon zest. Sometimes we even get Nana to participate but this year she “just wanted to eat them”.

What's next? Oh Yes! New Years resolutions!!!
Since birth, the family has been doing New Years resolutions. As a kid it was small things like “learn to blow a bubble” or “become a pop star”, now it’s shit like “have better self-esteem” or “kiss someone I respect” … its just gotten more unlikely.

I won’t bore you all with the rest of them but hopefully, I can check at least one of those off. Maybe this is the year I’ll become a pop star.

Second to last:  the reason for the season, Thanksgiving.

Every year I cook mac and cheese but according to Devon, the last two years have been bad. News to me bitch!! He tried to get his grubby little hands all over my mac and cheese and take control of it and we got into a big fight (for us) over it which lasted about 2 hours. My mac and cheese ended up being Amazing (as usual!!!). Suck on that. 

I also made corn muffins with honey thyme butter that was described as “exotic” by one of our Thanksgiving guests.

Mark made the turkey and stuffing 

Devon made mashed potatoes, squash, kale salad, cranberry sauce and green bean casserole. (a classic eldest child overachiever)

Val brought fruit and good vibes.

Nana made me pee myself laughing when she almost fell (not funny) but she didn't. I should have put “do Kegels” on my resolutions

No political disagreements over Thanksgiving (I actually dare someone to try and start something with me and see how well that goes over)

We mostly just discussed Taylor Swift, and how I should use Strava as a dating app.

An exhaustive list of things i’m thankful for (family, friends and health are A GIVEN. get off my ass)

1. The “Report” and “Remove” buttons on Hinge

2. The Supermilk hair spray from Lush that always gets me compliments

3. Smut books written by lonely women

4. Making romantic eye contact on the tube

5. Cinnamon (the spice)

6. My 5 pink water bottles

7. TJ/TK Maxx for being my safe space

8. ChatGPT 

9. Crystals because they make me feel like im somehow in control of the universe 

10.  That nasal spray that you snort when you start getting a cold and then it stops the cold

11. Old people with bad beliefs dying out 

12.  My flat 

13. Voice memos 

14. Pinterest 

15.  Martini’s with a twist

16. Audiobooks (Thank you Libby)

17. The notes app on my phone for holding all my secrets and fucked up thoughts and also my grocery and to do lists 

18. Google Calendar 

19.  Lager Shandys (yeah i drink beer i’m a cool girl)

20. Never having to look at my dissertation again

21. Knowing that I am always right about everything

22. Spaghetti 

23. Gossiping about people I dont like 

24. M&S double stuffed custard creams

25. Finding expensive brands in charity shops

And obviously had to do a list of things I am NOT thankful for

1. Men with micro bangs 

2. The “most compatible” feature on Hinge

3. Zionists

4. The sun setting at 3:30pm

5. Whoever graded my dissertation 

6. People who don’t know how to order at a pub (tell me your FULL order all at once babes) 

7. Inflation

8. Pub closing at 11:30 (my pub not included like please leave my pub I want to go home)

9. The northern line being down at Kentish town

10. Job applications

11. Clothes that can’t fit over my chest 

12. My doctor’s online portal being down for WEEKS

13. Living far away from the various people I love

14. The TFL being too expensive 

15. Katy Perry’s new album

16. Three (the phone carrier)

17. The matcha shortage 

18. Bad matcha 

19. That guy Joseph I went on a date with 

20. That guy Ben I went on a date with 

21. Being poor 

22. The fall of democracy and rise of fascism  

23. My poor immune system 

24. Brexit 

25. Jewellery that makes your skin green
    

I have a headache and don't feel like writing this section