For my non-British friends, did you guys know that in England, they have a holiday called Pancake Day? It's exactly what it sounds like: the celebration of pancakes. However, usually, these pancakes are not the fluffy ones we know and love from IHOP; they are more like thin crepes with lemon and sugar. 

I mean you British people sure love a silly holiday… I mean Guy Fawkes Day? But whatever makes y’all happy is fine with me. It’s not like every American holiday glorifies militarism or something silly like that.

Anywho Pancake Day was an absolute hoot!!

At work, we had a competition between British and American pancakes and we baked them right there on the desks in the office!

America won …whoops. We really don’t deserve anything right now… except maybe the assassination of a few ugly men.

One of my co-workers loves Pancake Day so much that she works frying pan jewellery and she also has a pancake-themed competition with her family. This year the category was “Aliens” so she dressed as a flying sauce(r) pan. Get it? Like a UFO… I guess

Anyway.

And if eating all those pancakes at work was not enough, after work Liz came over to eat MORE pancakes. 

It was a sugary and delicious day full of laughs and syrup.

Okay, let me just say something. 

If I am invited to an event during the hours of 6-8pm I am EXPECTING DINNER. Okay bitch?

The way I was FUMING when my Alma Mater hosted an event at a pub to celebrate “Elon Day” and not serve me food. And then you want me to donate money? Are you dumb? 

Last year they DID have food, and delicious chicken nuggets, hence why Rory and I made a point of attending again this year. 

The way I TURNED DOWN dinner at work.

 “No no, I won’t eat the food cooked by the chef because I am getting all this free food at an event later” How naive was I?

“We decided to pay for drinks, not food” Sweetie bffr. 

Did I take advantage of the free alcohol you bet you’re an ass. 

Did I drink that said alcohol and judge everyone with disdain in my eyes? Well, see for yourself. 

We left soon after this photo was taken and I ate 2 meals worth of McDonalds. 

If I’m going to do anything it’s make everyone celebrate a Jewish holiday. 

And this holiday is Purim!! Jewish Halloween!!!!

Every year I cook the cookie of Purim, hamantaschen, little triangle cookies with a filling in the middle. I prefer a Nutella filling but there are some sickos out there who like fruit so when I bake them for other people I usually make a few with jam as well. 

I brought the cookies to work and realized that most people don’t know anything about Purim. So I printed out a little Guide to Purim which included a picture of me dressed as a princess in honor of Queen Esther.

I also brought some hamantaschen for my friends (the employees) at Gail’s. 

I saw earlier in the week that Gail’s was selling hamantaschen for the holiday and when I said

“Wow you guys sell hamantaschen!!”

my girl Helen was like “Ohhhh THAT’s how you say it! I was saying hAY-mAYnt-chen”  

So I said “Helen, I am going to bring you some real homemade hamantaschen”

and that’s exactly what I did. And Helen gave me a free matcha. Thanks, Helen.  

Maura visited me and boy oh boy we love to… what are the kids (me) saying these days? Yap. We are yappers. We simply can not stop chit-chatting when we are together. She came to London with Belgium Chocolate in tow (Jealous?) to see me. Well, more accurately she came to see a Sabrina Carpenter concert she already had tickets to, but those are semantics.

We (Maura) cooked dinner and somehow arranged a Facetime between us in London, Myra in Texas and Emily in Australia. Poor Emily had to wake up at 6 am on a Saturday :(. I was so happy we got to catch up!! I miss my girls!

We finished the evening by hitting the Bermondsey Beer Mile with Cate!

The next day we got brunch, went book shopping and read outside. Perfect! 

I am never escaping the housewife allegations. Meal prepping has made me a Nara Smith. I’m very proud of some of the meals I’ve made. They’re gorgeous! 

Not only that but I am also making things like homemade granola and radish butter. Someone fucking call up Ballerina Farm and tell her I am coming for her job (lol jk her husband doesn’t want her to work).

JK!! JUST KIDDING GUYS. I am a single independent woman (BY CHOICE! I AM VERY DESIRABLE!! OKAY!!) and I have a CAREER and I read FEMINIST LITERATURE. 

GOD FORBID A WOMAN HAVE HOBBIES

 And then when I am not baking I am fucking crafting. I got really into making magnets (not inducing magnetism as a man on Hinge thought) but creating them, sculpting them. Please see the following examples I made for Susana’s birthday. 

Hosting goddess Rory Coleman hosted a little St. Paddys (Paddies??) dinner. Women! Can! do! it! all!

Homemade cottage pie! With a side of cabbage!

GUINNESS cake for dessert!!!

Truly was transported into the great nation of Ireland. The nation with the sexiest of accents.

Rory is one of the only other people I respect as a hostess. You heard me. I have high fucking standards. You ever been to one of my parties?

I also got to see Rory so much this month and that made me so HAPPY!!! 

Is this better than shitfaced on Oak Hill where you ran into everyone you’ve met at Elon University? Likely.

Remember when I got attacked by a dog and had to go to the ER and my dad flew out to North Carolina because I needed 36 stitches in my mouth and emergency dental work and I demanded he take his rental car and drop me off at Oak Hill so I can go to the St Paddy’s day party?

I did so many activities this month. If there is an activity, I will sign up

First up! Zine Making!

Yaz and I went all the way to North East London to attend an event in which we gave the host (some guy named Ben) our mobile phones which they preceded to lock away in a box. You see, this event was hosted by an organization called “Offline” which they are all about connecting and mindfulness shit. 

So this particular Offline event, we made Zines! What’s a Zine? It’s a magaZINE duh. But more… how you say….. homemade.

It was a lot of cutting things out of magazines and collaging. Would you believe me if I told you three people at my table made a zine about feminism and womanhood? Would you believe me even more if I told you I was one of them? 

Next! Life Drawing!
Standard staring at a naked person for 2 hours and getting hand cramps because I can’t draw mouths.

What’s this? Another Offline Event!
This time Yaz, Susana and I headed all the way North West to a Church. We listened to a piano player, drank a full bottle of wine and played board games with strangers. What did we learn?

1)We would rather hang out with each other than the strangers at the board game table.

 2) During one game we begrudgingly agreed to play, they were asking “get to know you” questions and one was the pros and cons of dating you (dumb) and the British fellow named George next to me said “A con is that I am stingy” and everyone vocally and physically recoiled and then agreed we should stop playing.

Last but not least! Crafts that happened to be gay

Listen, I saw a crafting event and I signed up. No, I didn’t realize it was at a Gay bar. Am I happy it was? You bet. I am on a quest to make more male gay friends because our interests have incredible intersections (Men, Reality TV, Lady Gaga) so this worked out well. So me and about 15 gay men in their 30s spent two hours on a Sunday doing crafts and I had a great fucking time. And I will be returning if anyone would like to join.